Issue #9 Thursday 11th October 2012

 

 

 

**The News In The Guild**

 

Hello Again Fellow Atlanteans we hope you are all enjoying this wonderful unchanging weather we are having at the moment. The sun never stops shining for the SOON to be No.1 Guild in Fel Dranghyr and the news certainly dosen't stop flooding in here at 'The Star', so without delay let's proceed.

 

Today saw no new joiners BUT we had no leavers either so it would seem all is well in the Guild. We knew that "Why Can't We Just All Get Along" speech written and presented by 'AceDuDe' at Ace's Pad would work. Nice one Ace.

 

There were a few major breakthroughs today in the field of science. 'Uktrooper' advanced up into the HMA and We've been assured is absolutly delighted. "Yeah ..(shrug) It's alright" was his response to our reporters. However both 'turbovcielka' and 'Lord Zand' moved into LMA territory earlier today. 'turbovielka' was pleased with his scientist's hard work explaining "I feed them only on the purist Honey I can make", and a secret Family recepie no doubt.

 

'Lord Zand's' achievements were somewhat overlooked though due to an official leak about a love affair with a nautical st******---------***(ahem, sorry about that, slight problem with the printer). 'Lord Zand' was delighted about the advancment today commenting "Look at all the NICE LOOKING STATUES". Intresting.

 

**Other News**

 

Tonight we were going to launch our first **Spotlight On** article. Yes we have a famous person here in our humble community, but unfortunatly due to some technical errors on 'The Star's' part it has been delayed. But be assured Dear Readers that it WILL be in tomorrows Issue.

 

Anyway here are a few short stories for you :

 

'props' went to doctinys for a check-up the other day. When 'props' arrived he said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what's wrong with me.""ok let's begin with a few questions," said doctiny. "Do you drink much?", "Alcohol?" said 'props'. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop.". "How about smoking?" asked doctiny."Never," replied 'props'. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it."

 

Confused with theese answers doctiny continued."Well, uh, do you have much sex life?"

"Oh, no!" said 'props'. "Sex is sin. I'm in bed by 10:30 every night, and I always have been." Doctiny paused, looked hard at 'props' and asked, "Well, do you have pains in your head?"."Yes," said 'props' "I have terrible pains in my head."."Ahh I see," said doctiny. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!"

 

------------------------------------------

 

Good news for 'monarcy88' as it has been fortold by Atlantean mystic soothsayers that Forge Of Empires will be unblocked at his place of work. This is great news for the Guild but not so great news for his boss.

 

We only hope the Gods get it right this time as the last prediction ended with 'Genius8' completing random tasks for his city Cosmos in the hope of winning the heart of a fair maiden. This did not happen and when asked how he felt about doing 2 years of hard labour for nothing he said "It was like pissing yourself in dark pants, warm feeling but nobody notices". What a legend.

 

Well thats all the news for today Guildies. Remember to look out for the next issue and please remember that if you wish to send us a story about yourself to feature in **Spotlight On** then please private message 'Burnside' directly. Thanks for reading.

 

Copy right reserved TM

Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand