Issue #35 Wednesday 7th November 2012

 

 

**The News In The Guild**

 

Hello Atlantis, we're half way through the week and everyone at 'The Star' still seems to be sane. Well sane enough to bring you the best top quality news this side of Fel Dranghyr anyway. With yesterday’s scandalous stories and for some jubilant for others disappointing football results today will be rather quiet in comparison. But don’t go and jump just yet, let us tell you about what’s happened today and then you can decide if you should end it all. Here we goooooooooooooo.....

There has been success in the Atlantis Labs today. Both 'Snarglys' and 'Trex777', (who was a late entry and just made the cut), entered the LMA. We sent our young reporter Sam along to interview 'Trex77', here's what he had to say. "Yeah I was so excited when I heard, I even got a 'TELEGRAM SAM' I mean like 'GET IT ON' I've never had one of those before and I thought to myself Wow this is like 'SOLID GOLD, EASY ACTION' baby. I always had faith in my main technician he's abit of a 'METAL GURU' to me, you know a bit of a 'JEEPSTER' if he keeps on going like this then one day I am going to be a '20th CENTURY BOY'. Tonight I am throwing a wild party, you know how I am going to enter, yeah I am going to 'RIDE A WHITE SWAN' I'm gonna have some booze and a dance cos 'I LOVE TO BOOGIE' then later I will take the wife home and give her some 'HOT LOVE' so we can raise some 'CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION' know what I mean". Uh...not really 'Trex777' but rest assured if there's a party we'll be there.

We have been approached by’monarchy88’ regarding some comic strips he made. While ‘The Star’ is currently undergoing a radical makeover we weren’t sure where to fit this in. We thank ‘monarchy88’ for his contribution and promise that it will be featured more predominately in the next few days or so. Just to start things off please follow the link below for his first comic strip sample.

http://i1296.photobucket.com/albums/ag4/monarchy881/cockroachrage.jpg

Also today, 'The Star' would like to mention the fine work that 'kradlum' has been doing in the Guild Market Square. With 26 trades, (not including ones that he has accepted) on the books things are looking rosy right now for all Guildies. After finding an enormous stash of Salt in one of his warehouses the market has filled with sacks unfortunately severely damaging the value price thus making 'uktrooper's' Saltworks redundant. @uktrooper' was furious out this news and has told reporters that he will be sending some UK troops to pay 'kradlum' a visit. We love a good war here at 'The Star' and hope that one of these two Guildies is kind enough to give us exclusive access to all battle skirmishes.

 

**Other News**

 

Just one news story today and it concerns what we TOUCHED on last issue regarding 'Raxpool'. This story comes at high risk to 'The Star’ because it would be technically breaking an injunction. But who cares. We can always place the blame on Tarquin. It appears that 'Raxpool' has been secretly seeing 'MrJism' and polishing his BONER. However it was later discovered that it was in fact 'Mr Jism's' BONUS that was being polished. "I love the feel of a BIG BONUS in my hands" exclaimed 'Raxpool' when confronted with this revelation. 'MrJism' was slightly more cryptic with his response saying "In order to get that special coating for my rope I need my BONUS polishing at least 15 times a day". Wow that's a lot of polishing by anyone's standards but who are we to argue.

 

**Sports News**

 

Here we are again Guildies its cup fever time, tonight saw the second round ties of the Atlantis League Cup being played out and some interesting games and results came out of it.

 

Slyfoxy's City Slickers 2 Spurndendsa's Spud LUFC 1

 

Empted STB Old Boys Club 3 Caphalors Titans 4

 

Burnside's Bulldogs 5 Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors 6

 

Ujka Sam's Bukisland 6 PfcJay Thunder 5

 

Mariposa's Monarchs 6 Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 2

 

Lord Farrals Bravehearts 5 Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 4

 

The Bho's Ballhogs 1 Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 3

 

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 6 Kolkoy Cross-Boo Tanding 5

 

Round up:

 

Burnside was fuming again on the touchline. After the debacle with Hokage14's celebrations in the league they again had the same officials on the park, and again they courted controversy. With Burnsides team winning 5 -4 and with only two minutes of normal time left the referee gave a penalty to Wizofwoz for handball, fair enough you would say being as the player actually caught the ball in the six yard box then threw it out to his full back, but this was the Bulldogs GOALKEEPER..

 

After scoring the penalty the ref celebrated with the Wrecklace Warriors team, shaking every player’s hand. It looked as if a replay on Thursday night was on the cards as they kicked off again, and in what was a very fair game with neither trainer having to enter the pitch there could be very little or no added on time. Imagine the shock when the ref indicated 12 minutes, then proceeded to give free kick after free kick to the Warriors. 

 

They eventually scored in the 4th. Minute of the added on time and as the Bulldogs kicked off the ref blew time up. Burnside has made an official complaint to the League officials intimating that he saw money changing hands with the 4th. official who then gave the thumbs up sign to the ref. The complaint will be heard tomorrow afternoon.

 

In other tight matches UjkaSam beat PfcJay 6 - 5 and Stipsa went through with the same score line against Kolkoy.

 

The real battle of the night though came from Mariposa Field where the battle of the ladies took place. As we already know Star readers there had been a lot of posturing and quotes about who was going to do what to who and the game lived up to expectations.

The pitch was nearly waterlogged and was lucky to go ahead; it is a mystery how it became that wet as no rain had fallen in Atlantis for three days. The ball kept getting stuck in the water and with all the kicking and running about; it soon became a mud bath :)

The first half saw three sending’s off for pulling of hair, two from Hokages side and one from Mariposas, players were sliding about all over the place and their kit was soaking wet through with mud, it was hard to see who was on which side it was that oozy and gooey and deliciously slimy, with bodies clinging to shirts and shorts.... Ah Hem... sorry about that got carried away. (Jizz stop that at once you will go blind).

 

Back to the action.... The extra player eventually started to pay off and Mariposas team went in at half time 2 - 0 up.

As the second half resumed Pink Unicorn came out carrying handbags, the ref refused to start play until they were left on the touchline and the players begrudgingly agreed, the fourth official has since made an official complaint to the league stating "There was a ruddy great house brick in every handbag". We shall have to see what sanctions are taken.

Asked for a quote on this incident after the game Hokage14 just shrugged and said her girls were hard and worked on building sites.

With Mariposas team eventually running out 6 - 2 winners I don't suppose there will be any complaint from Mariposa who just smiled and said "I told you so". 

 

 

**Final Say**

 

With only two more days to go until the weekend we are already looking forward it it. With more footy action in the League and of course Sundays supplement 'BALLS' ('Raxpool' looks on with interest) we know you are looking forward to it to. Remember to support everyone and help build a stronger guild community. Ta Ta .. . .

 

 

Copy right reserved TM

Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand 

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