Issue #26 Sunday 28th October 2012

 

 

**The News In The Guild**

 

Howdy Atlantis. With the weekend drawing to a close there is no shortage of news to report. In fact we have printed so much news today that our red ink ran out. Thankfully Chuck, our work experience lad, donated some of his blood (well ok alot of his blood) to help us out. Unfortunatly Chuck is now residing in our Graveyard but hey it is halloween so maybe he will come back as a zombie. Anyway enough with the chit chat and on with the colossal amount of news to report.

 

We had 1 new member join Atlantis today. 'TonyEvl' made his apperance earlier today at the Atlantis gates pleading to be let in as he was being chased by his 20 wives with knives. Apparently he had forgoten their anniversaries which is not a wise thing to do. 'John Galt' felt sympathetic towards 'TonyEvl' and he was granted access into Atlantis. (John you big softy).

 

In science news 2 Guildies advanced up an age today. 'd16lev' and 'draig' both entered the LMA and were overcome with emotion by the news. "What a day my lab techs have had. First they discover the meaning of life (42) and then they discover the LMA. I'm so proud of them" explained 'd16lev'. 'draig' also congratulated his techies by saying "All this time I thought they were developing a reverse functioning actuator for my Vibro bed, but they were in fact advancing me up the Age ladder. What a great and welcome suprise that was. Now where is that vibra.......". Unfortunatly we had to shorten the speech due to the watershed.

 

We have been asked to mention today that 'mmarrk2012' has won all of the PvP Towers that he fought in over the week. He won top spot in the Bronze, Iron, Early Middle Age and the High Middle age tornaments. A big Well Done to 'mmarrkk2012' from everyone at 'The Star'. He also announced that he will be celibrating this achevment with a massive party at his Town Hall later tonight and everyone is invited. No wonder he is skint. Free booze, count us in. See you there Guildies.

 

**Other News**

 

---Raxpool Causes Panic---

 

There was confusion, and panic in the traders market yesterday. Confusion because 'Raxpool' put up a trade for some gold for copper, he then quickly changed his mind and asked for two stones for his copper. Rumour and wonderment quickly spread amongst the traders, had Raxpool actually had his alchemists practising dark art chemistry whereby he could have them make stone turn to gold?. Had he found the midas touch?.

 

People were seen clammering for stone and the price for it rocketed in the hope that he could actually turn stone to gold. 'mmarrkk2012' (Who openly admits that he is skint) was seen in all the ploughed fields of Atlantis filling sacks full of stone in this vain hope that his problems and troubles were all over. His poor donkey was laden down and buckling at the knees.

 

In the end 'Raxpool' had to swallow his pride and very red faced he admitted that he had put the wrong trade in. 'mmarrkk2012' was furious and was seen throwing stones at anything that moved all the way home to his poor skint hovel. We hope he has used up all his stones now as Booze and throwing stones don't really go together.

 

---HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES, YES!!!!!---

 

This is what we have been eagerly waiting for, for what seems like an age now, The Atlantis football league, league cup and Atlantis national cup are about to kick off.

 

There has been a flurry of activity with members setting up football teams all over Atlantis, the demand for bricks and stone (No not gold ones 'Raxpool') has been phenominal as members build their stadiums, cash has been flowing in the transfer market like confetti, so much so that 'mmarrk2012' is skint. Again.

 

It is now upon us, the time for all the talk and posturing has ended, who will be crowned the first champions of leagues one and two?? who will win the league and national cups?? who will disgrace themselves and let down their fans and be relegated...... We are about to find out.

 

There will be two leagues, division 1 and 2 (No posing premiership and championship for Atlantis). Each league will consist of 16 teams who will play each other over 30 games home and away.

 

The cups will be a straight knockout each round being drawn individually. the league cup semi final will be played over two legs home and away and this competition will kick off the season with the first round matches being played on Wednesday.

 

League games will be played on Saturday and Monday so watch the star for a round up supplement on Sundays and Tuesdays with cup round ups on Thursday... (I am having Fridays off as a treat). So in 16 weeks all will be revealed and the champions crowned... Will it be smiles all round for your team or tears cried into your half time cups of tea??? LET THE GAME BEGIN.

 

My good wife has made all the draws so as to be impartial, and she will roll the dice to decide the game results..... Her word is final (Believe me).

 

**Sports News**

 

So they are here at last the leagues, in alphabetical order for a start, as drawn by the good Mrs. Burnside (and NO my being in the first division was not a cheat).

 

Division 1:

 

Burnsides Bulldogs

Fernikus's Kickers

Jimmyhig County

Jizzalots

Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding

Kyncknacs Kicker Crackers

Lord Farrals Bravehearts

Mariposa's Monarchs

Monarchy88 CPi Butanding

More76 Saxon Voema

Rinbins Jesters

Salltons Sallinea United

Spurndensa's Spud LUFC

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia

Ujka Sams Burkisland

UK's Finest

 

DIVISION 2 :

 

Akhboy76 Celtic Galactico's

Akhil Wonder

Caphalor Titans

Doctiny's Speculums

Empted STB Old Boys Club

Galts Bohemians

Gremla MK Maribor

Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs

mmarrkk's Tartan Spartans

PCFJay Thunder

Raxpools Hamflickers

Slyfoxy's City Slickers

The Bho's Ballhogs

TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies

Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors

Zanders Zombies

 

And here is the draw for the first round of the Atlantis League cup... Games will be played on Wednesday 31st October.

 

Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors Vs Galts Bohemians

 

Caphalors Titans Vs Jizzalots

 

Burnsides Bulldogs Vs Zanders Zombies

 

Mariposa's Monarchs Vs UK's Finest

 

More76 Saxon Voema Vs Slyfoxy's City Slickers

 

Akhboy Celtic Galactico's Vs Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding

 

Akhil Wonder Vs Fernikus's Kickers

 

Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs Vs Jimmyhig County

 

Kyncknacs Kicker Crackers Vs Raxpool Hamflickers

 

Rinbins Jesters Vs Ujka Sams Bukisland

 

Gremla7 MK Maribor Vs Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia

 

Doctinys Speculums Vs Lord Farrals Bravehearts

 

Salltons Sallinea United Vs Empted STB Old Boys Club

 

Spurndensa's Spud LUFC Vs Monarchy88 CPi Butanding

 

PFCJays Thunder Vs mmarrkks Tartan Spartans

 

The Bho's Ballhogs Vs TonyEvl Big Beer Bellies

 

**Final Word**

 

Well there you have it Guildies. Another issue of 'The Star' brought to your door, free of charge. We are extremly gratefull to everyone who has contributed stories and Atlantis tittle tattle to our daily paper today and hope that it continues to amuze and entertain you all. Keep your eyes peeled for more great news stories and information in tomorrow's issue of 'The Star'. Till then people...

 

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Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand 

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