Issue #16 Thursday 18th October 2012

 

**The News In The Guild**

 

Well Well Well would you believe it. There's bugger all news. We know, we can't believe it either. Here we are a respectable paper forced to make up fake stories just to please the Guild masses. It's a shocking state of affairs but .... Hang on, It seemes something has happened today after all. 'HORAY' well thats Great news so..uh..on with the News:

 

Well When we said something happened today it wasn't to do with new members or old leavers so we can skip this part.

 

But YES we did have a tech advancement earlier today. Woohoo .. We're just so happy we co.... Ahem, yes well our reporter told us that 'jimmyhig' took a bold step up into the LMA. He also managed to get 'jimmyhig' to say a few words in response to this momentus occation "This is a great day not just for my scientists but for everyone in Kazimierz. Onwards and forever upwards". We're sure 'jimmyhig' will benifit greatly from this new age and wish him the best of patience and luck on achieving his next goal the CA.

 

**Other News**

 

Thankfully we do have one story from around the Guild today. We found it under a stack of 'The Atlantis Star' Issue No1 papers. Hmm...maybe everyone was away that day ... anyway, here it is enjoy:

 

'John Galt','chemaster' and 'Fox79' walked into the Atlantis pet shop and right away they went over to the bird section. The shop assistant came over and asked if he could help them."Yeah" said 'John Galt' "I'll take one of those birds there". "And I'LL take one of those said 'chemaster'. "And one of those for me, oh and can you gift wrap them for us" said 'Fox79'.

 

The assistant did as they requested, then they paid for the birds and left the shop. They got into 'John Galt's' horse cart and rode hard until they were high up in the hills. They stopped at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop.

 

"This looks like a grand place. Eh?" said 'John Galt'. He then took his bird out of the bag, placed it on his shoulder and jumps off the cliff. 'chemaster' and 'Fox79' watched as 'John Galt' dropped straight down and then 'SPLATTERED' on the ground far below. As 'chemaster' looked over the edge of the cliff he shaked his head and said "Bugger that, that budgie jumpin' is too dangerous for me".

 

A minute later 'chemaster' pulled a parrot out of his bag, and then 'Fox79' noticed that in his other hand 'chemaster' was carrying a gun. "Hey watch this said 'chemaster' and launched himself over the edge of the cliff. 'Fox79' watched as half way down, 'chemaster' took out the gun and blew the parrot's head off with it.

 

'chemaster' continued to plummet until there was another 'SPLAT'!, as he joined 'John Galt' in a heap on the ground at the bottom of the cliff. 'Fox79' shook his head and said, "And I'm never tryin that parrotshooting again."

 

A few minutes later 'Fox79' pulled a chicken out of his bag, and launches himself off the cliff with the usual result. Just as 'Fox79' hit the ground 'MrJism' happened to be walking past. He looked over the cliff and shook his head " Damn me I'm never ever doing that hengliding".

 

So there you have it. Some top 'Star' advice, we recommend you never try any of the above at home. Not unless you can't take anymore of the pure mundainity of life and wish to end it all, then please go ahead. No don't , no really don't we were joking. Anyway thats it for todays issue of 'The Atlantis Star'. Not a very long issue we know but we hope it brought you a little happiness. Untill next time Atlantis...

 

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Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand